Well. This will be quite an explanatory post. Just to tell those new people what/who am i really. I believe myself to be a free spirited person. i hate authority and rules. i do what i want. sounds very stupid. but thats me. sometimes i talk alot sometimes very little,(trust me, i wont stop talking.). I am still a person. i have feelings and a outside life from w47j. if you see me not talking. dont disturb me. please. i will always be very reflective. so just leave me alone or ask only if need be. i like to write. not that it did me any good during o levels. i hated studying. i ended up with 27points. go figure. i was playing my life away in secondary school. i have no regrets. i am where i want to be. doal is what i wanted since i left obs in sec 3. 5-9th november. even though it was 11th on my list ( my fuck parents wanted the order changed) i still ended up in doal. so. im going to be an outdoor instructor. i will need a good wife then. someone who earns. i need someone to care for. im that kind of person. ive tried. many times. all have failed. or was it me? or am i thinking too much? "there are plenty of fishes in the ocean". heard of overfishing and running out of bait? to me. i have had it once too many times. i have never got to know any girl beyond her name and what she does. get over it. i cant change my look and i wont. i like myself coz im one of a kind. im not being self-centred or whatever. but. its like that. more so. i will be very honest for this once. i have thought of suicide many times. but i realise it does nothing to solve the problem. running away is bullshit. singapore is too small. so im left to confide to myself. holding in all those years of pain is straining me. but there is no avenue to let go. id rather keep it and kill myself inside out then tell it to someone and hear the same bullshit over and over again. like getting into trouble with my parents every 2 nights for no reason whatsoever isnt bad enough. its more of my father actually. every small thing i get scolded. i just dont care what he says and rebel to whatever he wants to do. i cant wait to leave this house in 2 years time. now that you know my situation abit. please. just. dont point me out too much. im fine with the current situation. just dont push it. i will do whatever is necessary to shut you up.

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